Saya (TIDAK) Benci Pak Ino!

On December 4th, one of my Industry and Organisation lecturer, the most respected one, passed away. This is a blog post I made to honor him. Post is written in Bahasa.

The Story of Hipster Jesus, Colostomy and Positive Psychology

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its.
-Matthew 6:34

The verse above matched with a ‘Gestalt principle of now’ in which the only real thing is what happen right here, right now. Tomorrow as future, is something which not exist yet, so you don't have to worry about it. Don’t you think He’s awesome? Hipster Jesus talks about Gestalt before it was cool!

But I’m not gonna talk about Gestalt right now. I’m going to share something that could be explained by the verse.

Last year on June, my dad had a big operation around his abdomen to fix his intestine. Because of the operation, he had a hole in his stomach as rectal replacement called colostomy. This week he had to be operated once more to normalize his excretion system so he could poop normally.

This is what happened to your intestine and excretion system when you get a colostomy

I remember how wrecked I was during my dad’s hospitalization day. I couldn’t think straight, hardly focused on everything I was doing because my thoughts keep coming back to my sick dad. He was in a great pain and need a lot of adjustment after the operation. I mean, there’s a hole in his stomach. That condition must be so inconvenient.

I was stuck in a gloomy mood for the rest of hospitalization weeks. I faked my mood and wore the-so-called persona so I looked happy at the surface just because I don’t want others noticed how ruined I was.

And when his time to be hospitalized came, my mind involuntarily rewinded the black days of my dad’s pain and suffering and how it affected my life. It only takes a short time for me to be gloom again even before the operation and the post-operation experience started. I couldn’t help myself imagine being gloomy again for the rest of this week and maybe the following weeks ahead.  I was filled with thoughts that the operation would ruin my activity all over again while I’m in my busiest point; loads of assignment, choir rehearsal for a concert in September, quizzes and presentation. I think, I’m gonna blow.

But then a best friend of mine, Grace, told me that I have to stay positive. Grace and I happened to be positive psychology believer. But the thoughts of the tiresome post-operation experience in the past blocked my positive view. 

She reminds me about the self-fulfilling prophecy; that everything happened in our mind could be true if we keep thinking about it over and over again. The operation hasn’t even started yet but I already have a list of bad experience ahead. Well, I don’t want that suffering weeks repeated all over again, obviously. 

So I guess I will try to let it flow, not thinking too much about tomorrow that’s not exist yet… and keep praying to gain the power so I could face the coming weeks, taking care of my dad joyfully and keep focus on my activities.

Now = experience = awareness = reality. The past is no more and the future not yet.
-Perls on Gestalt Therapy Now

Please pray for my father’s operation. And pray for me too so I could be stronger than before.

Have a nice day!

Story of My So Called Personality

Fun Quizzes eh?

I used to be a fan of online for-fun-personality-quizzes. At that time I would be so exciting knowing that I'm a sanguine, an introvert, a peacemaker, some water-element girl, a joker, a bossy type etc, etc. Now that I have entered the real Psychological Testing world, my real character has been revealed by some personality tests I learned on my Psychodiagnostic classes. But I’m not all happy with my personality test result.

So far I have done three roleplay in my Personality Testing class: Thematic Apperception Test (TAT), Edward Personality Preference Schedule (EPPS) and Wartegg Zeichen Test (commonly known as Wartegg or WZT). 

In TAT, you will be given a set of picture. All you need to do is tell your story about what you see in the picture. TAT actually is a test intended for those who have personality disorder, so the test interpretation wouldn’t be valid for me.

The second test, EPPS is a personality test which measures 15 needs that linked to your personality.  Answer 225 sets of questions and it will show you the quantifications of needs in your trait. While WZT is some kind of picture completions test. You don’t need to a specific drawing skill because it won’t measure your drawing ability but your personality profile.

Somehow, the test results shocking me. According to EPPS interpretation, I’m somewhat immature, indecisive, have a high need in succorance, have a very low need for nurturing, do not have need of endurance and quite aggressive.

Well, I know I’m not perfect, but seeing that I have so many flaws… is a different story :p BUT this is not a final judgement! Many people let themselves down because of their psychological test result. I have heard many cases when people gets really disappointed with their IQ because it was quite low. No! The psychological test result is a call for a huge change! I couldn’t stay immature and keep procrastinating eternally, or keep deserting others and being indecisive all my life. So yeah, I have to improve my self.

Hopefully I can be a better person. Yay!

Looking Through My Eyes: A Dangerous Method

This movie hasn't been released yet but its preview on Venice Film Festival promising something big. This is the movie I won't be missed. I'd be watching this in the cinema if Indonesian cinemas played it, of course*. 

Since I'm a type of person who prefer to download the movie online, watching movie in the cinema is a big thing. Do you think I'm supporting piracy by downloading movie instead of going to cinema or buying original DVDs? You tell me. But I'm a cheap person, so yeah :/

There are some notable reason why I must watch this movie immediately in the cinema as soon as they release it:

1. Because I'm a psychology student and this movie contains the history of Psychoanalysis. The director stated here about how this movie will reveal the background of Psychoanalysis by 'resurrecting' the subjects (in this case; Freud and Jung). For so long, I only 'knew' Freud and Jung throughout their theories. It would be interesting to know the other side of this two important person. 
2. The casts are bright; Michael Fassbender, Keira Knightley and Viggo Mortensen. Hell yeah, Viggo Mortensen (who looks like Val Kilmer in the poster) is Sigmund Freud and Michael Fassbender is his protege, Carl Jung.
3. Because I fancy Michael Fassbender.
4. The rating is totally awesome. IMDB give A Dangerous Method 9 over 10, while Rotten Tomatoes (which--I find--usually give harsh comments about films) giving it 71% positive review and 98% of their audiences agree that this movie is watchable. 

So yeah, I'm sure I'll be watching A Dangerous Method cause it fits my requirement (British actors, 20th century setting, Michael Fassbender), though the subject might be a little bit 'heavy'. Anyone interested?

*) Indonesia currently having affair with movies importer that makes some movies late to be played in the the theatres or worse couldn't be released in cinemas.

Story of Damaged Children

All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the prints of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair.Mitch Albom, The Five People You Meet in Heaven

I’ve been living in a kampong since I was 6. Raised there, I see the way people around me raising their children. As I’m learning psychology in college, I know that they raised their kids wrongfully.

Instead of speaking to their children with loving care, parents here tend to yell to their kids. They prefer punish their children; verbally and non-verbally, rather than telling them what is right to be done.  They shouting curses—or anything inappropriate to be heard—to their kids when they angry. They don’t comfort their crying son or daughter, either way they let them screaming or cry themselves to sleep. Children are abandoned to play on the street, while their mothers gossiping in a house nearby. They damaged their children.

How parents raised their children affects the personality development. I see kids who had been raised with this manner—now the same age as me, grows to be aggressive, rascal, high-tempered and none of them achieve good grades. Some even dropped out from school.

What do you think would happen to these kids when they grow up? When they have kids? They will learn from their parents. This, by Albert Bandura is called modeling or observational learning. Thus, the children damaging process repeated all over again.

I’ve been seeing this children-damaging-process for about 15 years now, and the best part of it, ironically, is that I could do nothing to fix this. Either I’m too scared of their rejection when I’m telling them about the right-parenting-things or I’m too ignorant about my neighbourhood.

I see people around me making mistake but I did not do anything. Story of my life.