The Spilled Milk

A short update before continuing my next ASEAN YEP related post.

Actually it has been a busy holiday. I really got things to do that keeps me moving around and had little time to do anything else. Chatting on facebook and video calling with overseas friend is not included in the anything else category. Here I’m just going to tell you that I feel like my time is running out. I’m on my 4^th year, the year for thesis & graduation. I really don’t have any other subject I need to take this semester because I have taken all my classes. That way next semester I only need to take 6 credits for thesis.

Thing is, after ASEAN YEP I realize how I have wasted my four year in university without doing anything noteworthy. I met a lot of great people who spent their college life around the globe during the ASEAN YEP. While me? I’m keeping myself rotten in my den. Well yeah, Prague in 2010 & Bangkok last January experiences were something real worthy. But, where have I been when the chances are widely open? Now I only have some months left before fleeing my save haven into the wilderness out there. Somehow I feel I’m not ready for the post-college life. I’m not even sure what to do next. Looking for jobs as an unqualified (soon to be) bachelor? Pursuing a master degree scholarship with my not-so-fair GPA?

Right now I’m crying over spilled milk. I really wish I still get chances to get other exchange grant before letting my status as an undergraduate student go.

ASEAN YEP Diaries #1

I know it has been a long time since my last post. I didn't even do some new-year related post. How are you guys doing? Is there anyone who still read my blog out there? No matter what, I hope you have an incredible time, because I do. I get this special chance to meet a lot of new friends who are now become my family in this event I recently joined; the first ASEAN Youth Exchange Program (ASEAN YEP) on January 10^th to 20^th in Chulalongkorn University, Bangkok, Thailand.

From my perspective, ASEAN YEP is a program to strengthen the bond between Southeast Asian youths by exchanging each nation’s culture, preparing these youths for the 2015 ‘ASEAN Economic Community’ as well as promoting the ASEAN Way—in which I would explain later, and let them build a bond for the future of ASEAN. It is an intensive 10 days program consisted of lecturers, group discussion, excursion study and cultural visit. All of the participants also encouraged to perform their national culture. It was the most memorable 10 days I have experienced all my life. No exaggeration.

There are 8 countries participated in the YEP; Brunei Darussalam, Cambodia, Indonesia, Laos, Myanmar, The Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam. Delegations from each country were representatives from the ASEAN University Network (AUN) member. The exchange was particularly for the AUN members only. Fortunately, my university is the member of AUN, so I could join this program.

I will share my YEP memories on some parts:

1.      Introductory part,

Which is this part when I give a brief explanation about YEP

2.      Lessons from Lectures

About something noteworthy from the classes, and

3.      Thailand Sight Seeing

In which I would tell you about my adventures around Siam District, Silom, Petchaburi Province, Asiatique and The Grand Palace

The story of how I get to Bangkok will be a start. Enjoy J

Departing to Bangkok

I didn't have much time to prepare myself for the selection. One day I received a text, telling me that I was invited to this exchange socialization event where the next day I was interviewed and shortly after that informed that I was accepted for the program and had to prepare everything I needed to go abroad; passport, photos, etc. Everything was so fast during this preparation weeks.

Some weeks before the departure, I met my fellow delegates from each faculty of my university. Our university delegations are Agni, Caesar, Cintia, Destra, Febby, Iyus, Jojo, Ratu, Rosa, Tanti, Tesa, Vania, Jesica, We had only 3 meetings to prepare everything for the cultural night and done the rest by Blackberry Messenger. Thank God for technology.

at Don Mueang Airport

We went to Bangkok on January 10^th by Air Asia, the best low cost airlines—so they said. It takes about 4 hours to get to Bangkok. And since it is a low cost flight, we didn't get the meal for free. I was surprised that the price of half portion of meal I usually consume is two times more expensive. That time I had no idea about pre-book meal which cost cheaper. But I rarely fly, so I give a try for that costly food instead.

Arrival

We arrived at about 8 pm which means we were late for the 7 pm welcoming dinner. But the staff kindly escorted us to Mak Yah, a halal Muslim Restaurant—because many of us are Islam. After filling our belly, we went to Asia Hotel Bangkok, a four-star hotel that will be our home for the next 9 days. This is when we learnt the fact that we will be sleeping with roommate from another country. We weren't anticipating this and quite anxious that we wouldn't be able to keep up with our roommate. But our anxiety was pointless for we had fun with our roommate. Mine is Faikum Srihakam, a cute Thai student from Khon Khaen University. We had a good time even thought Fai’s English was quite limited.

Solidarity Groups

We were asked by the staff to be punctually ready at the hotel lobby on 8 am for leaving to the campus where they held the lectures. The program was opened by formal forewords and Thailand cultural performance. After the opening ceremony, we were separated into solidarity groups or SGs. There are 6 SGs; group A-F. Each group consisted of every country member. For the rest 9 days, we have to stick with our SG.

Great times with Diversitwo

I was on group B, the second group. We called ourselves Diversitwo. Liw from Thai is our leader. Liane from The Philippines is our assistant leader. Those who are in this SG are Avasbek and Fatin (Brunei Darussalam), Phea (Cambodia), me, Aryo, Dary, Icha and Jojo (Indonesia), Aling (Laos), Marco (The Philippines), Am, Nan, Num, Pleng, Satory and Yong (Thailand) and Thao (Vietnam). Yes, Indonesia was the second country with the most delegates, while Myanmar was the least because they only sent 3 students. The grouping was fun. We were asked to introduce ourselves before making group rule & group cheer. In no time we became really attached with each other.

to be continued…

Saya (TIDAK) Benci Pak Ino!

On December 4th, one of my Industry and Organisation lecturer, the most respected one, passed away. This is a blog post I made to honor him. Post is written in Bahasa.

The Story of Hipster Jesus, Colostomy and Positive Psychology

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its.
-Matthew 6:34

The verse above matched with a ‘Gestalt principle of now’ in which the only real thing is what happen right here, right now. Tomorrow as future, is something which not exist yet, so you don't have to worry about it. Don’t you think He’s awesome? Hipster Jesus talks about Gestalt before it was cool!

But I’m not gonna talk about Gestalt right now. I’m going to share something that could be explained by the verse.

Last year on June, my dad had a big operation around his abdomen to fix his intestine. Because of the operation, he had a hole in his stomach as rectal replacement called colostomy. This week he had to be operated once more to normalize his excretion system so he could poop normally.

This is what happened to your intestine and excretion system when you get a colostomy

I remember how wrecked I was during my dad’s hospitalization day. I couldn’t think straight, hardly focused on everything I was doing because my thoughts keep coming back to my sick dad. He was in a great pain and need a lot of adjustment after the operation. I mean, there’s a hole in his stomach. That condition must be so inconvenient.

I was stuck in a gloomy mood for the rest of hospitalization weeks. I faked my mood and wore the-so-called persona so I looked happy at the surface just because I don’t want others noticed how ruined I was.

And when his time to be hospitalized came, my mind involuntarily rewinded the black days of my dad’s pain and suffering and how it affected my life. It only takes a short time for me to be gloom again even before the operation and the post-operation experience started. I couldn’t help myself imagine being gloomy again for the rest of this week and maybe the following weeks ahead.  I was filled with thoughts that the operation would ruin my activity all over again while I’m in my busiest point; loads of assignment, choir rehearsal for a concert in September, quizzes and presentation. I think, I’m gonna blow.

But then a best friend of mine, Grace, told me that I have to stay positive. Grace and I happened to be positive psychology believer. But the thoughts of the tiresome post-operation experience in the past blocked my positive view. 

She reminds me about the self-fulfilling prophecy; that everything happened in our mind could be true if we keep thinking about it over and over again. The operation hasn’t even started yet but I already have a list of bad experience ahead. Well, I don’t want that suffering weeks repeated all over again, obviously. 

So I guess I will try to let it flow, not thinking too much about tomorrow that’s not exist yet… and keep praying to gain the power so I could face the coming weeks, taking care of my dad joyfully and keep focus on my activities.

Now = experience = awareness = reality. The past is no more and the future not yet.
-Perls on Gestalt Therapy Now

Please pray for my father’s operation. And pray for me too so I could be stronger than before.

Have a nice day!

Paska Viesta!

A bit late to share about Easter, eh? But my Easter holiday was fun. I spent the Holy Week serving  Maundy Thursday, Easter Vigili and Easter Sunday Mass.

I spent the easter eve by having a late dinner with the altar boys—some boys (plus a girl) night out, eh?
...and going to the cinema with fellow altar servers on Sunday, watching The Raid for the second time. Yay!!! nb. Thanks for Sandy for treating all of us.


The Holy Week was so hectic that costs my health. I got a quite severe flu since Sunday evening. But I ain't even regret it because I had an extraordinary week.

The Awesomeness of Being an Sixth Semester Undergraduate Student

Might wonder why I disappear from the blogworld? It’s because I’m not really good at managing my time. Some people would easily spare their time for blogging. But I find it hard to share anything while my mind works busily around my academic live.

It’s the fifth week of my sixth semester. It has been awesome. I take some Industry-Organizational Psych class which subjects are very interesting. In every meeting, we discuss about organizational behavior, career, competence at work and people in organization. I also take Counseling class, where I learn the basic of being a counselor (although I don’t consider being a counselor in the future). 

The most important class I take is the Research Methodology class. Here, I prepare myself to write the so-called thesis. Dear Lord, my scholarly life is at stake in this class. Because the final project for this subject is a thesis proposal. I really hope I could finish a fix thesis proposal at the end of this semester and started doing my thesis next semester. Wish me luck!

Because I want to be really serious on doing my Research Methodology assignments, a lot of my time wasted   being used for journal hunting and literature searching. I still surf the web every day—I even spend more online time than usual for this purpose. (Even though I spend 1/8 of the browsing time scrolling down the 9gag hot page).  Two times a week, every Research Methodology class member has to upload their research progress at our campus web called the Psyche. This is why I'm getting very busy; because I have to do loads of research.

Psyche is awesome. I think your college or university must be having this kind of site too. Some of my friends assumed that our campus is the only institution which have this kind of interactive site. Well, they could be wrong. I believe that out there, sites like Psyche are plenty.

Tagged with “Psychology Classroom Hybrid Education”, Psyche offers a lot of useful feature like study material download, class online forum where you can discuss academic-related-talks in the site and project (assignment) submission. We even do our quiz online here in Psyche. It also provides academic information and announcements like scholarship or student exchange offers. Of course, it can only be accessed by Unair’s Psychology students. But here’s some sneak peak;

the Psyche dashboard

Recently my campus Information System Department developed Psyche into some kind of local social-network. We could send message to the lecturers or fellow students. We even can chat the like the Facebook-way chat. It also have a profile page, a dashboard and wall. 

the lesson page

Here's my Organizational Behavior lesson page. The lecturers of this subject likes to uploads a lot of learning supplement like articles, journals or text books.

The Psyche web is only faculty or so-called-local-level site. For the university or the bigger scoop level, there's UACC or Universitas Airlangga Cyber Campus. UACC controls every academic activity like your academic schedule, academic calendar, attendance record, grade book, study plan for particular semester (I don't know what it is called in English, but here we called it "Kartu Rencana Studi"), achievement record (like when you win something) and many more...

Oh, the other awesome thing about Psyche is the text notification service. As I said before, we submitted our assignment through the web. Every time the project deadline gets closer, Psyche will intensively text you about the approaching deadline. Not only texting about deadlines, every time a lecture (or anyone) posts in the forum, Psyche will generously tell you through text. Once, I received about 50 texts notification in a day from Psyche because a class forum gets so active. (un)Fortunately, this service cannot be disabled.

My college friends even joking about Psyche who sends message to someone a lot more than boyfriends (or girlfriends... or someone who have a crush on another) do.

What about your academic life? Is it as awesome as mine? Or do you have a similar campus site like I do?

Working Is...

As an Industry-Organization Psych student, I learn many things about human in organization—specifically in the work setting. I learn about forces that push you to do your best effort while working, skills required to do a job superbly, managing yourself and others, how to be a leader and a manager—and the differences between them, developing yourself and others around you, managing your career,  and many thing else.

It gives me a lot to think on. I never really work before—though I have done some freelance job—but in class, I learn about the ‘theories of doing things right while working’. All those theories and realities of work tell me that the working-life could be… harsh. I find out the most important thing for you to survive at work is your skill. What I learn in school this whole time can be easily set aside. Well yeah, knowledge is important but without knowing how to realize it, your knowledge means nothing. Values you hold and the right attitude are vital; it helps you to behave properly in various conditions.

*sigh* Could I really endure my future work life? Do I have proper skill, competencies and capabilities needed to do my work? Can I earn proper wages with my abilities I have now?

Have you ever wondered about those things too? After a long contemplation in classes I attended, working for me now, seems to be more than earn money for life. Working is more likely studying in some organization (or company) and you get paid for doing it. By setting this mindset (of get paid for studying) while doing your job, hopefully you wouldn’t be burdened with the tasks.

Happened to me once, when I did my job as a tester whose job is to administrate some psychological tests and score it. It was exhausting. That time, I had to handle a class of 20 naughty Senior High schoolers outside town—2 hours from Surabaya. The deadline for the test scoring was so short that I did it in a rush. Yeah, you guessed right, I wasn’t paid quite properly.

But then I think again. I learn a lot that time. I learn how to conduct myself and control my emotion in front of those badly behaved students. I learn to work under pressure. The paid means nothing compared with what I learned through working.

What about you guys? Have you anything to share about working?

  

I Wish I Could Sing This To You

Been trapped in this feeling—you know what I mean, for a long time. Recently I found this song way too late, because you could consider this song to be out of date (huh?).

If I had a chance, I will sing this song to you.
Or maybe, instead of looking for a chance, I have to make the chance myself and sing this song to him...

Sorry for the melodrama moment.

Welcome March

Ah, finally March arrived. Do you know that March is one of my favorite month? 

New semester has begun and so far it seems like it's gonna be a lot of fun. Tiring, hectic, full of quizzes and assignments semester but fun. I will have a lot of organizational researches and visits to some companies. Meeting a lot of new people in the company sounds so challenging and thrilling to me! 

I hope I could stay living in the way of positive mind and seeing everything as an exciting challenge so I could fight hard for my goals this semester.

Wishing you all a good day!

Delirious

I was the one who presents the subject of delirious in my Abnormal Psychology Class. It’s kinda funny how I finally experience being delirious.

The last two day—yes, this very weekend, I spent my long hours in my bed for I had this high fever. Apparently, the fever had disrupted my mind. I had this serial dreams. I called it so because the dream starts at the exact point when I woke up. And sometimes I found it hard to discriminate dreams among reality.

Imagine Michael Fassbender's face
in Benedict Cumberbacth's body

I was in some journey of villain-chasing in the Victorian Era. I saw horses and hansom everywhere. Everyone speaks in lovely British accent. Everywhere I go someone would bow and address, “Ma’am” to me. In my pocket I would find a revolver I could use to defend myself from my enemy. Some dream, eh? Maybe, the adventurous dream was the side-effect of my recent habit; reading “The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes” plus watching a lot of James Bond movies in the national television channel every night before I sleep.

The weirdest part of all was the appearance of Sherlock Holmes in my dream. This Sherlock had the look of Benedict Cumberbatch, with his curls and dark hair and slender figure. Not weird? Here’s what makes it weird; this Sherlock has the face of Michael Fassbender.

Every once in a while I was awake and felt like surrounded by a lot of people although I was alone in my room. Everything seemed cloudy yet so bright. Meh, I hardly can describe my state of delirious.

When I finally woke up in the morning with a better condition, I felt really tired. And I haven’t got any weirder dream since then.

 Have you got any weirder delirious experience?

Story of a Student with a Bad Luck

What occurred to your mind when you hear the word disappointed? For me, it is simply a mismatch between what I expect and the reality.

Maybe you ever noticed my ‘5th semester affirmation’, in the sidebar (though it is now deleted).  This is where the disappointment came from, because my 5^th semester GPA is far below my expectation. 

The disappointing report card

The thing is, I put a lot of effort for this semester’s assignment. I had travel to other city only to gather data for my research, hardly sleep enough; causing me some metabolite problem—made me gain almost 10 kg in 3 month... 

I did try confirming the grade to my lectures—for I think that the score I got wasn't fair at all, compared to my hard working. But seemingly they had wrapped the grade, left me disappointed. 

And my dear readers, I am sorry for complaining a lot.

I grieved for days because of this. I used to be quite bright. Getting low grade this semester kind of blew me. It ruined my plan. I couldn’t apply for scholarship—because it requires at least 3 on the GPA. I had to retake the failed subject, such a waste of time. It means I wouldn’t be able to graduate on schedule.

The worst is not that I disappointed myself, but also my parents. I’m ashamed. I know that they put a lot of hope on me, but what did I give to them? A low grade? Meh!

Then I brace myself to tell my dad about my grade.

But, he wasn’t angry. At all. Like my failure wasn’t a big thing. He told me that it was okay I didn’t get ‘income’ from this semester’s grants; I still could write short stories, get it published and received honorarium from that (oh yeah, I got my story published on a magazine last November) or earning some bucks from my freelance job as psycho-tester. He even mocked the lectures with me, LOL.

Here’s what he said about my grade

"Leave the bad grades behind and live more optimistically next semester."

Isn’t he the coolest dad ever?

My Mom too, is supporting enough. She knows how hard I work for last semester's assignment. For her, my low grade was just some bad luck. Well, true enough.

Yeah, grieving over the wrapped score won’t change anything. Keeping angry to my lecturers won’t do me any good. I will retake my failed classes, trying to get a better score and stop complaining about my disappointment.

Wishing you all a good—non-disappointing day!

This is Love, February!

Welcome February! 

As we know, this is the month when we celebrate Valentine's Day. I'm quite in the mood for love. So here you go, one of my favorite love songs: This is Love by The Script. You might want to pay attention to the lyrics cause it has a very deep meaning :) 

It's the Melody that Catches My Ears

I used to have this argument about songs; which one is the most important, music or lyric? Back then I argued that lyric is the most important part of the song. For me, then, even if the music was so cool but the lyric contained nothing; the song was not worth listening.

Until I found this EP called You Are Here / Vous Êtes Ici. It was released by Simple Plan’s guitarist Sébastien Lefebvre. This album somehow totally changes my opinion towards music-lyric things. The music, which is dominated by acoustic guitar plays, is far different from Simple Plan’s punk-rock style. Listening to this album somewhat brings me a heartwarming moment. One song I really like from the EP is called "Comatose" (video attached). But this time, I only listen to the music—without meaning to say that the lyric is crappy. It’s just that this time, it is the melody that really catches my ears. For one time I don’t care at all about the lyrics (for I have no idea about what the songs are saying even though I have played it over and over again).

I guess the reason a song has both music and lyric is to complete each other. I will never argue about the importance of lyric anymore.

Greetings, 2012! A Great Start for a (Hopefully) Great Year.

Hello world, I'm back. How's everybody doing while I'm awhile? 

So far, 2012 have been a nice companion though the New Year gift I received—the two week in a row exam, wasn't really sweet. Beside, spending New Year's eve by working on the your parent's restaurant surely was not the greatest way to spent the turn of the year.

But, an excellent start in the beginning of this year surely could be a good sign for a great year—well; I hope so, for I started 2012 with a big smile and excitement of an unexpected fortune.

Let me tell you that I have never dream of coming to a concert in which my favorite band performs. For I live far from the capital city—and the concerts usually takes place in the capital. The price I have to pay to see the concert (including the charge for general admission and the accommodation) might cost my whole year grant. So, I dare not to think of coming and see my favorite bands like Panic at the Disco and Simple Plan (both was held in 2008) performing in Jakarta.

Yet we never know where fate might lead us.

Last Wednesday (18/01/2012), fate was kind enough to let me see Simple Plan Get Your Heart On! Indonesia Tour 2012 from the Festival A class—it was in right in front of the stage!  Never occurred to my mind that Simple Plan with Pierre on vocal, Seb on guitar and backing vocal, David on bass and backing vocal, Jeff on lead guitar and Chuck on drum, the band I adore since I was a Junior High dork—will ever come and held a concert in the city where I live; Surabaya. 

Although the effort that grant me the ticket was full of drama, every pain was paid by their great performance. I remember spent almost two sleepless weeks last October working on my side-job, travelling from one corner of my city to the other, putting on my headphone to do the job till I got some ear infection from over-working while that time I still had a lot of assignments only to fight for the ticket concert.

This was my first concert I ever attended and it was amazing. It’s hard to describe the feeling that surrounds me during the concert. Seemed like I was in a state of trance; I forget the stressful exam week, the problems I had—those sourness and bitterness in my life vapors as I held my hand out to reach the bands, screamed the songs at the top of my lungs and jumped with the beat.

The concert's ambiance was great. It was full of energy and risen up audience's spirit. Supported by great sound and lighting, Simple Plan performed perfectly.  Pierre and David really was communicative. Pierre even threw some Indonesian/Surabayan puns like "Wani piro?" (I might freely translated it as you dare me?) and "Piye kabare Suroboyo (how are you Surabaya)?"

the girls I went to the concert with
(me, Dece, Grace & Beta)

The funny thing is I develop this Post Concert Syndrome after the concert is done. It’s some kind of over-excitement even depression that stays with me for the next three days. I caught myself smiling or giggling uncontrollably remembering how awesome the show was— even the worse, I could scream in frustration thinking why the concert had to be over. For days I spent my day texting the girls I went to the concert with, only discussing how great the performance, Pierre and Seb's handsomeness, the pervert act David made during the show, how mature and cool Jeff is and how out of reach was Chuck because he was seated in the very edge of the stage.

Shortly, the concert was one best thing ever happened in my life. And I can’t wait to have other extraordinary experience for 2012 has just begun.

So, 2012, let's be friend! I'll be waiting for the surprises you have prepared for me XD

BACAKILAT: A Reading List

Here are the list of 60 books I will read for the next 90 day. The number of the books increase every 30 days.  The reading will start on Monday, September 12th 2011 and will end on Sunday, December 11th 2011 according to date days calculator. Books that has been fully read according to the BACAKILAT system will be crossed and some will be linked to its review. Some books with other colour are additional books I read along the Easy Habit process. 

For my start, I will read 15 books for my first 30 days, 20 for the next 30 days and 25 books for the last 30 days. 

The first 30 days programme is called Easy Habit programme. It works like this:

In one week, only one book will be read on Monday-Thursday for 30 minutes each day. So, on the 30th day I'd be finished reading 15 books.

The first 15 books for Easy Habit Programme, sorted by date, are:

1. Dampak dari Sikap Anda by John C. Maxwell
2. Management the Basics by Morgen Witzel
3. Yesus Sang Anak Manusia by Kahlil Gibran
4. Diktat Psikodiagnostik IV
5. Ensklopedia Orang Kudus
6. Diktat Psikodiagnostik V
7. Human Resource Management Practice by Michael Armstrong
8. The Art and History of Prague
9. Psychological Testing by Theresia J.B. Kline
10. Diktat Psikodiagnostik VI
11. Psychological Testing and Assessment an Introduction to Test & Measurement by Ronald Jay Cohen
12. How to Manage People by Michael Armstrong
13. Perilaku Organisasi by Udai Pareek
14. Fioretti
15. Book of Psalm
16. Humanistic Psychology a Synthesis by C.W. Tageson
17. Organizational Psychology an Experiential Approach by A. Kol, M. Rubin & M. McIntyre
18. Performance-Based Evaluation by Judith Hale

The list will be updated once I find some books to be added to the reading list :)

September

Story of Biology Lesson I Learned this Week

note: 

You might found this post a little bit sickening... You have been warned!

If I told you I've been sick this whole week would you believe? There's no reason not to isn't it? Trolol... 

Yes, I've been sick like a dog  for more than a week but I was way too ignorant that it getting worse. At first it was just a common flu; sneezing, coughing and all that. Then my left ear start ringing uncontrollably. I thought the ringing was caused by the flu. Sneezing too hard could make your ear rings, anyway.  I had done some googling about ringing ear which is called Tinnitus, had done some treatment but the ringing wouldn't go away. 

At that time I kept doing my routine activity though the ringing really annoyed me. I forced myself to come to some settle down meeting on Friday in which I became a committee. In result, the ringing in my left ear getting louder. I even got nausea (our ear somehow connected to the body-balancing part) because of the ringing ear. It seemed silly but that's what happened to me.

So I went to check my ear to an ENT (Ear-Nose-Throat) specialist on Saturday. Like I had predicted before, the doctor said that the ringing was caused by the flu I suffered. He did give me prescription but only to cure the influenza. On Sunday, the ringing still there but wasn't as loud as the other day. I took my noon medication and had some nap. When I got up, I feel like I had been drown--like my ear were full of water.

At this point I started to freak out. What if I'm going to be half-deaf all my life? What if I had to ask people to talk louder to me? What if I had to spent the rest of my college life sitting in the front seat so I could hear the lecture better? The most ridiculous thing I'd done was spending the night listening songs from my cellphone through its loud speaker in minimum volume. I did this to make sure my left ear were still functioning  well.  

As I woke up on Monday morning, the ear's condition were getting worse. It's like my left ear were torn separately  from me and it were drowned in a lake full with cricket choir sang with bell chorus music. So loud, annoying and lunatic. Such a torment!

I went again to ENT specialist. Same hospital, different doctor. What happened next as I entered the room were so fast. I only remember sat in front of the doctor then she checked my ear, did something including flooding my ear canal with a lot of water, some suction-work around the hole, drying and voila! I can hear normally again.

What I heard from the doctor was shocking. She said that the cause of the ear-problem is fungi! How on earth did fungi can grow on my ear canal?! (FYI, I'm a hygienic person so I don't wanna be blame because of my shabbiness...)

A literally Cloud Ear Fungus, which resemble a lot with the ear and NOT THE ONE WHICH FOUND IN MY EAR

This is the most unproductive week all my holiday. I didn't draw anything for my emotion research, I hadn't read the journals for the research proposal, missed many important meeting in campus because of  fungi. The ringing somehow increasing the sense of laziness in me.

Well, at least I learn that fungi can grow in ear... gross... never heard of this before, not even in my science class or Biology text books...

Fungi lived in my ear. Story of my life....

Story of Affirmation

If you ever know about "The Secret" or "The Law of Attraction", maybe the word "affirmation" is familiar to you. It's like you projecting something you really want in your mind so that your imagination became really vivid. The better you projecting it, the easier your wish would come true. You can imagine it over and over again until your mind really believes that it is true, as it really happens (tho is not). Or you can projecting it by making it graphic, so you really can see and sense it. Like mapping/drawing/writing down things you want.

I'm getting this on my inbox, soon!

Since I'm a visual learner, projecting my will into a graphic object is the best way to do my affirmation. So here I am, doing the so-called affirmation because I'm so obsessed with this whole effin Pottermore things. Affirmative, lad! Affirmative! I'm getting my welcome email! Yeah!!!

Why Are You Blogging, Nyes?

I never imagined myself to have a blog cause in fact I'm a quite-ignorant rather anti-social person.

I have a Facebook account which I rarely updated. I had a twitter account which I deleted because somehow I think tweeting is annoying. I appear online on MSN, YM, GTalk only when I feel like chatting. I have a tumblr only because it's the kingdom for my fandom. I don't really make friends with people on tumblr; I simply follow and reblog.
See, I don't really socialize through social network.

I actually kind of avoiding the social networking things for some reason. I think too much drama spread through the social network. I find most of people in my network uses their update (facebook statuses, facebook notes, tweets, blog posts etc) as an exaggerated catharsis media. It's like the social network is a trash can where ones can throw away any feeling when they are bad tempered or not in a good mood, vilifying others when they feel like it but too coward to spit it in front of other's face, self-pitying so that one can gain sympathy from others and so on.

“Social Media is about sociology and psychology more than technology.” –Brain Solis of FutureWorks

Sometimes it seems like someone spoil the world that they had a big problem; scandals that they don't even ashamed to reveal.

Erm, and not to mention the who-got-the-most-followers-and-friends-race.Well, THAT'S NOT THE WAY SOCIAL MEDIA WORKS, MATE! Not for me at least.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm just being sarcastic. Maybe not everyone uses social media as a garbage bin. But that's what I see and I'm not comfortable with it.

So, let us get back to the title of this post: Why Blogging?

Ive read my friends blog. Some only write about their daily activity, some still uses blog as a garbage bin, some uses blog to share their quality thoughts. Meanwhile there's me who tries to inspire people with my posts. Without trying to boast, I believe that deep in my cracked brain, I have some quality thoughts too; ideas that can be shared for good. Hopefully, my good intention will be well accepted by others.

Story of a Diamond, Covered in Mud

So, one day when I was a mere teenager I asked my father (whom I consider as my personal counselor); “Why, do you think, I don’t have a boyfriend?”

That time, my friends had started dating someone; having their own relationship, while I stayed single. On the other hand, many of my close friends were boys. I haven’t really been a tomboy-type and I have always been a-guy-friendly-type. That’s why I’m asking my singleness to my father. With many boys around, I being single was something to be asked about.

He gave me some courageous reason like because I’m over-rated, because I’m too smart for them they’d feel inferior against me or because my singlehood meant for a greater good (tho I don’t know what that means).  I thanked him for all the reason because it really flattered me.

The real thing is I have issue with my weight, I still am. But he didn’t bring up physical reason at all. “Well, do you think I’m not pretty enough for the boys? Do I really have to be skinny so that I might hook up with someone?”

His answer change the way I see myself forever.

“Well, do you want to change yourself just so people like you even you’re not comfortable with it?”

“No! I like the way I am now!”

“So be it, because what really matter is the thing that lies within. You are a diamond. Even you are covered with mud or dirt, buried in the sand or below the swamp, you’re still a diamond. Only ones who see the diamond in you really meant for you.”

I know that someday someone would really see the mud-covered diamond. I really thanked my dad for this life-changing chat session.

I have been single since I was born but I’m never ashamed of it because I now I have diamond in me. Story of my life.